I wouldn't call it sighing.
Everything is starting to settle into a pattern now. There is a countdown... A block of time. In this block there are events, dates of significance. Some are close, some are far away. Just a little less important.
Things will be forgotten, lost. Only to be recalled upon the randomness of memory.
For now, however... Normalcy. Or at least what I consider to be so.
I can say that things are better. I am relaxed. Calm.
I don't really know how to describe it... It is as if I have been dead on the inside for so long... Or at least somewhere else. Such as the past.
Now I look around... and for once everything is current. The present, and the future have my attention.
I will not lie, there is a feeling of guilt within me. As if I have said goodbye to a dear friend. My friend, Lament. It is odd to not have it by my side. It is odd to think that alot I have held dear for so long, is now nothing more than ash. Almost as if I miss it.
Perhaps it is just a quiet sorrow. I know not yet.
There is no wonder any more. No more reconsidering. I say my goodbyes, and all there is left... is to fade.
1.07.2002
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