2.12.2011

2.07.2011

[x]Love and Signal Flares.


they say that energy
can neither be created nor destroyed
it can only be transformed
from one state to another
does that mean my love
is someone else's hate?
when i'm lonely is someone else loved?
many times i have found myself battered, bloodied, and bruised
as my affections were unrequited
you can only bear so many rosaline...
however i tend to forget that i wasn't always the hero
i like to think i've broken as much as i've fixed
i'm not proud to say it but i've hurt people
such is the price of growing up
such is the price of establishing a contrast
i wonder if there's anyone out there
who still bears the wounds that i inflicted
who still thinks about me every day
as i still think about them
even the ones that i myself left broken and in tears
who's lives were forever altered
as i myself have been knocked off course
all of these scars of mine
reduce what i was supposed to feel
this armor conconcted around me
just weighs me down as i try to move forward
all of these ridiculous defense mechanisms i've created
i get to the point of realization
that this barb wire around my heart
might just be the only thing holding it together
should love really be some kind of obstacle course?
no, it shouldn't
i believe love requires work but still shouldn't be so hard
we use the terms "Soul mate" and the like so lightly
it took me forever to realize what that means
a "Soul mate" is someone you cannot picture your life without
the sad fact is you may never end up with that person
because life's not always perfect
nor a romantic comedy
the guy doesn't always get the girl and vice versa
you will just go through the day with a sense of something missing
and they may never know how you feel
regardless of how far they are away
or how lost they are to you
i've seen the vast majority of people settle
due to convenience or defeat
when you just can't bring yourself to fight anymore
some people you can just tell
their souls crushed, never to recover
i've never believed in what love is
no one ever saved me from the optimism and naivety
when it all comes down to it
i need someone to remind me that love is more than an addiction
i could go on and on about this forever
if you are lucky enough to have someone
if you really love them
you have to realize how rare this is
hold onto them like there's no tomorrow
because if you really think about it
there almost wasn't
just think about how close it comes to never happening
these are the one of the small miracles we get to see
if that girl wouldn't have been poolside to adjust the speaker
if i hadn't overheard a female voice in the dorm room next door
if i would have never gotten the courage to ask that girl with the squirrel button out to a movie
if i wouldn't have agreed to have a girl come visit me on a whim
any delay whatsover
1 second more and the stars would have never aligned
none of this would have ever happened
so if you have someone you truly love
and who actually loves you in return
be thankful for that 1 second
because without it...
there wouldn't be blueberry pancakes
we wouldn't have to guess the brand of their vagrancy
we wouldn't hvae to beep and boop like robots
and i wouldn't have to be sending up this signal flare up to you
because all of these inside jokes
are tender moments that never could have been