[x]The soundtrack and the rogues gallery.

All of the greatest hits of my ex's 
are married and gone
Even some of the B-sides
Even some of the one-hit wonders
So here I am, 34 and alone
even my rogues gallery seems to have found permanent henchmen
All of my best battles behind me - 
and I myself seem to have trouble just holding on to a sidekick 
I know for the majority of them
the only thing worse than not having them
Is being stuck with them
for the rest of my life
Yet when there is no one to look forward to
I cannot help but look back
Back to when my battles with my arch enemies
were broadcasted in black and white
United in common cause
simply to bring me down
I am thankful that their chaos in my life has died down
as my former debris have settled
I have eluded their capture
yet in being so free I am even more imprisoned
I do not miss any of them or the time we shared
yet I cannot help but wonder
if bullet dodging is my super power
and yet my kryptonite as well


[x] The contrast of desire and pain.

Every girl that has either come or gone
has instilled, and left me with one of two things-
When things are good it's all about desire and gain
when things are bad it's all about loss and pain
And when that picture gets more and more refined
from every victory and even more defeat
When you lay one over the other-
it results in the portrait of a perceived perfection
The chaos, white noise, drama of the background
just makes me long for the person
Who becomes, one battle at a time
clearer and clearer in the forefront
She made me want her
simply because I couldn't have her anymore
Such a simple devastation
to such a complex salvation
She knows and is sorry that we could not free each other
regardless if we bothered to try
She was my victory and then she up and left
before we even had the chance to get started
My only spoils in this war
are the things she couldn't take with her
My only trophy - the certainty
of her knowing that I was the one that claimed her first
She was such a long time coming
and such a short time going
that time neither seems to relent nor pass
refusing to let me move on in this time of peace
If I cannot have her then I need someone to save me from myself
because I am going to love her
until someone else claims and forces me to love them instead
and I am more than welcome to it

[x] The Ostrich and the lightest dark.

I could see from afar 
the red flags as they hung from crosses
So in hindsight I ask myself now
why did I even bother?
While contemplating atonement
I see an echo of my past in her heart
and this particular time the arrogant hero
decides to offset these things that he has done- 
Way back when I had to save my own soul
I had to find the lightest dark to do it
Yet to try and save her
I needed to show her the darkest light instead
Yet she would have none of it
and on my honor I would not press
So there we stood, polar opposites
her shroud was bliss and numbness
My hand outstretched and hers unwilling 
or unable to reach beyond her bubble
Something in me turned off when I watched her cry
when I watched her bury her head and heart in the sand
I wanted to yell at her
There is no redemption when you are an ostrich
You can only run, and run, and run, and run-
and never ever fly 
So to pre-empt my own pain
I pushed her bubble away...
I do not have the ability to chase anymore
and even if I did I could not keep the pace