[x]Pilot Light of Me.

Can you love me for what I've become?  Love me for what I said I would not become?

a black hole devouring the light of everyone circling my orbit

eternally star-crossed living in the aftermath of Romeo and Juliet

forever a plague 

on all 

of your houses

somewhere in between laying with monsters 

and the staring contest with the void

when I wasn't caring to look and blinked

the pilot light of me quietly... went... out

maybe it was the guilt in reveling in watching the person who hurt me burn long ago

or maybe it was when my heart failed, replaced with the bitter cold of logic

everything has become binary in a one or a zero, a pass or a fail

benevolence replaced with leverage in the artificial intelligence of my heart

so I now suffer imposter syndrome of being utterly forgettable

seemingly missing the signal fire that we all have to remind each other that we exist

and when you feel like no one can find you anymore

every day becomes a desperate fight for relevancy

I grab onto anyone's light

so hard and violent that most of the time it  ends up burning me

so hard that I fall in love with all of you so easily

as I continue to chase what never becomes more than a shadowplay

thus any light that you think you see in me

is probably your own reflecting in my eyes

trust me - there is nothing but a vast abyss within me

so much that I've convinced myself that if I cut myself it would just bleed black

I'm a thing that has traveled so far past broken

that I've become lost and weary in the dark

hoping that someday one of you, any of you - that I need so much to live

can help light the way back to me