[x]Pilot Light of Me.
Can you love me for what I've become? Love me for what I said I would not become?
a black hole devouring the light of everyone circling my orbit
eternally star-crossed living in the aftermath of Romeo and Juliet
forever a plague
on all
of your houses
somewhere in between laying with monsters
and the staring contest with the void
when I wasn't caring to look and blinked
the pilot light of me quietly... went... out
maybe it was the guilt in reveling in watching the person who hurt me burn long ago
or maybe it was when my heart failed, replaced with the bitter cold of logic
everything has become binary in a one or a zero, a pass or a fail
benevolence replaced with leverage in the artificial intelligence of my heart
so I now suffer imposter syndrome of being utterly forgettable
seemingly missing the signal fire that we all have to remind each other that we exist
and when you feel like no one can find you anymore
every day becomes a desperate fight for relevancy
I grab onto anyone's light
so hard and violent that most of the time it ends up burning me
so hard that I fall in love with all of you so easily
as I continue to chase what never becomes more than a shadowplay
thus any light that you think you see in me
is probably your own reflecting in my eyes
trust me - there is nothing but a vast abyss within me
so much that I've convinced myself that if I cut myself it would just bleed black
I'm a thing that has traveled so far past broken
that I've become lost and weary in the dark
hoping that someday one of you, any of you - that I need so much to live
can help light the way back to me
