tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62896042024-03-02T22:12:12.275-05:00www.johnnybronto.comSolace in the rogue - the personal musings and writings of Johnny Bronto. Archive as well of deadpixel.org.deaDpixeLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13620747429967667036noreply@blogger.comBlogger488125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-91185665810758502202024-03-02T20:25:00.010-05:002024-03-02T22:11:40.635-05:00[x] Dream With Me.She stepped into my life as if
out of a dreamAs if the conversation started long
before we met Like I manifested her into beingOr made her in a lab I was so blindsided by her depthI got so hopelessly lost in her
that I would panicLike holding astatine in my handsScared that this delicate dream could
break at any time She insisted she wasn’t at all perfectBut she was Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-26839418848873086362023-08-14T21:13:00.004-04:002023-08-14T21:16:27.515-04:00[x]The Crown and the Tempest.(In case of emergency, break heart) She is the only one that gets to see me without my crownAnd how heavy it liesShe knows me without the persona and façade – Without this armor that holds me together What was I expecting when I fell in love with a storm?I am so much better when I am caught in her mawAnd so much worse when I’m forced to escapeBegging to be Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-88188195418288479662022-12-25T14:17:00.008-05:002022-12-25T14:19:21.549-05:00[x]Paradigm Adrift.(A tale of the Mirror and the Fool)Cast aside, like the spare parts in other people's machinationsUnexpected and unsettling, she crashed into me with matching scarsHer beauty adrift, I found myself compelled to do anything to save her… Even though this loop of mine doesn’t make much of a life preserver
anymore Now I’m trapped with this force of a wounded girlwho never letsJohnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-20350454675809925582022-04-29T08:33:00.002-04:002022-04-29T08:33:30.974-04:00[x]The Solace in Mourning.We measure
these deaths and grieve in blocks of timeOne day,
one month, or one or more years since - These are
tangible, quantifiable things that we can
surpass, overcome, and build upon We weaponize
pain to the point of where We sometimes
forget how to healWe’re mad
or sad or frustrated or at a complete loss Some of
us are still stuck in the void we fell into when Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-84545033114165661902021-11-24T10:45:00.005-05:002021-11-24T10:52:04.195-05:00[x] The Ghost and The Siren(A tale of adoration and gratitude) I was all but content in my tunnel visionTo be lost in loss and adrift in this
abyssWhen a reverse siren pulled me out and into
her lightRescuing me to the point of making me want
to save myself I just wish I had met her before my heart
had failed me so Before I let the darkness take meBack when I could shed my skinBack Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-48983011933536975652021-07-03T15:36:00.003-04:002021-07-03T16:31:36.651-04:00A field guide to what the fuck is wrong with Johnny’s concept of love –
a recollection of a relationship that did not quite break me, but ultimately led
me to fail myself. “I'm not going to tell you the story the way it
happened. I'm going to tell it the way I remember it.” — Great
Expectations I am not the hero of this story. I
know most people Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-17031746319196368762021-04-04T17:58:00.015-04:002021-04-05T16:54:13.658-04:00[x]Pilot Light of Me.Can you love me for what I've become? Love me for what I said I would not become?a black hole devouring the light of everyone circling my orbiteternally star-crossed living in the aftermath of Romeo and Julietforever a plague on all of your housessomewhere in between laying with monsters and the staring contest with the voidwhen I wasn't caring to look Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-27597197623435820652017-11-11T21:38:00.001-05:002017-11-11T21:52:37.269-05:00[x]Hummingbird.
I saw the vibration in her soul
before I even knew her name
Of all the birds that were in my sky
it was her assertion that made her prominent
As much as I like the idea of her being a pet
she is not one to be kept
Though it hurts me to see her caged
it might pain me worse to see her freed
I appreciate how delicate
she is in my hands
While never letting her catch me
Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-34077249618560951402016-12-31T15:53:00.004-05:002016-12-31T19:47:02.192-05:00[x]Year in Review 2016.Theme in three parts:
"Motion Picture Soundtrack" by Radiohead
Part 1 - Tendrils
I think you're crazy, maybe.
When I last left off in 2015 I was living in an apartment that I didn't want to be in, and hadn't wanted to be in for a year. I had put in an offer, which was accepted - on a house but was waiting for it to play out. Ana had me on the ropes. These factors Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-78223586410013142772016-07-06T15:05:00.002-04:002016-07-08T18:04:55.051-04:00[x]Kevlar Sleeves.
in the dark i was and am invincible
left to my own device and vices
she found me not exactly broken or fixed
but in this perpetual state of functional melancholy
every time she cracks the door light pours in
and it's another muse inviting me out of solitary
i can't help myself when it comes to her beauty
my heart has always been a moth when it comes to a flame
yet i can't Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-69192358517890204482016-05-08T19:11:00.001-04:002016-05-08T19:13:56.613-04:00[x]CPR on Ghosts.
spreading my love so thin and far
so little over so many for so long
and leaving nothing for myself
it's no wonder that i don't love anything anymore
it has been so long since i've had someone
that it's no longer about the ones that got away
it's about the ones that are left
and the one that i've pieced together
out of so many loose plot threads that refuse to end
woven Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-18033947360378428272016-04-13T22:07:00.001-04:002018-02-06T22:44:10.491-05:00[x]Reign and Throne.
self exiled in this progress of obscurity
i once was found but now i am lost
with recluse abandon
these days i'm struggling to reign in my own heart
every villain is simply the hero of their own story
and i make no mistake in knowing full well
that the kingdom of my life
was built upon the throne of my sins
still i'm thankful for all i've been given
but doing Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-14441387480689360542016-01-01T11:39:00.003-05:002016-01-03T18:12:22.556-05:00[x] Year in Review 2015Theme song - "You are Free" by Joseph Arthur (Album - Nuclear Daydream)
There were so many ups and downs in the last 365 days of my life. It ended up being a great year in the second half.
First part of the year was a downer. I am not going to hash out the specifics here, but I had a falling out in my living situation which rippled throughout the year. I'll leave itJohnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-22778802766305964502015-05-12T15:11:00.002-04:002015-05-12T15:43:40.585-04:00[x] Farewell Paradethe middle of the alphabet part 4 - Farewell Parade
you cannot help the one you love
even if you know they aren't the right person for you
still I've tried to manipulate her Rubik's cube of a heart
with every shade of red that is in me
only to realize that color is missing from her spectrum
so how can i resent her or expect her to see the difference
between looking at Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-71730889279460067942014-12-30T22:23:00.000-05:002014-12-30T22:23:01.029-05:00[x] Year in Review 2014Note - I've been working on this for several days prior to the last day of the year, so I apologize for any jumps in theme or tone...
YIR theme song "Cough Syrup" by Young the Giant
Life's to short to even care at all...
As I type some of this I am in Michigan currently. After 7 years here in Florida I can finally confirm it - this isn't my home anymore. This Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-74338953600842359962014-11-22T23:59:00.003-05:002014-11-23T16:28:18.832-05:00[x] Pursue
for just a moment in time she was mine
at least, she was my muse to end all muses
i wouldn't have minded getting lost in her abyss
until life forced me to unwillingly escape
she is everything that i've ever wanted in a girl
but was a afraid to ask for
she was warm when i was cold
and fully aware of her own dark secret
she should have anyone or anything that she wants
life's empires could rise Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-58247934571713392892014-11-01T21:50:00.000-04:002014-11-23T00:02:12.272-05:00[x]Stowaway.
she's so much more beautiful
before doing herself up for her fan club
the only thing making me special in these mornings
is the privilege of letting time get lost in those eyes
she makes me remember what it's like to be young
while reminding me that I am not
and somehow when I am with her
that isn't the same thing
from a distance it appears I'm just keeping her at an arms' length
but Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-42708847019761433532014-07-10T23:56:00.004-04:002014-07-10T23:56:51.110-04:00[x] TermsThe middle of the alphabet part 3 - Terms
we were fated to say hello
and even from the beginning -
i've always known more than i've let on
because there was simply something about this girl
one thing we had in common
was our fear that maybe, just maybe
we had been out of the world too long
and parts of us had atrophied
i wish i could've given up part of myself to help you
Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-20363114624533170792014-05-24T18:31:00.001-04:002014-05-24T18:32:18.140-04:00[x]A haiku for "What's her name?".
just an open door
never to be seen again
her smile made my day
Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-80340340371754005372014-05-21T22:49:00.000-04:002015-05-12T15:22:38.417-04:00[x] The Girl In Frontthe middle of the alphabet part 2 - The Girl In Front
There have been so many clues in my words
so much all over my years in the sunshine
that i would half expect to find her fingerprints on my pen
and half expect that she has no suspicion at all
I saw her before we had even met
and when her story preceded her it crushed me
I've always seen the strength in both clumsiness and grace
even Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-79885499497239576052014-05-17T19:10:00.003-04:002014-05-19T19:11:30.781-04:00[x] Passion Aggression the middle of the alphabet part 1 - passion aggression
i've said that we're okay until we aren't
and today i am no longer content
when you are merciless in your compassion
then i all i can do is appear ruthless in my indifference
with anyone else i could keep up this facade
you're the only one who sees my mask slip
feeling my resentment for not allowing me to hide from you
and forcing the Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-43444446861242730032013-12-31T15:36:00.000-05:002014-01-01T19:17:19.105-05:00[x]Year In Review 2013.
Nine Inch Nails - "Find My Way" (Album - Hesitation Marks)
Ghosts of who we used to be, I can feel them come for me...
I have been in Florida for 6 years now. This was another upswing year, with huge improvements on my home and professional life. For the first time in my adult life I now look forward instead of looking back. My life isn't Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-73671344065179952442013-07-01T18:49:00.001-04:002013-07-09T09:37:13.255-04:00[x] The Dirge and Dorian Graythere is no depth to my love
and it scares me to death
becuase in it's absence that very same endlessness
just becomes a void
when left to my own devices
that abyss has to be filled with something
so i tried my hand at villainy
only to have it consume me from the inside out
sometimes i am not even sure
that i am the hero of my own story anymore
small conquests to get me through the day
today i Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-46893068402062927142013-06-30T23:44:00.003-04:002013-07-01T00:04:57.814-04:00[x]the end.
the words - they come and go as they please
it's not something i ever have control over
keeping me up some nights, not letting me sleep
not until i give them the form they desire
sometimes i let the exhaustion win
only to feel as though my genius was left to dreams
so now i try to get every last word
because my night writing is to hope as my days are to despair
so much as a letter Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6289604.post-89424239320292288692013-06-03T18:36:00.006-04:002013-06-03T18:37:34.448-04:00[x]rubber band.
maybe i stretched it too far or too long
because the past snaps back like a rubber band into the present
and when the shock wears off
the life that i am living starts to feel vaugely like my own
i've lost track of the times
that i had given up hope
walking around every single day with my shadow
following me like a perpetual chalkline
it's hard to reconcile now
the sequence Johnny Brontohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537270467388568272noreply@blogger.com0