12.25.2022

[x]Paradigm Adrift.

(A tale of the Mirror and the Fool)


Cast aside, like the spare parts in other people's machinations

Unexpected and unsettling, she crashed into me with matching scars

Her beauty adrift, I found myself compelled to do anything to save her…

Even though this loop of mine doesn’t make much of a life preserver anymore

 

Now I’m trapped with this force of a wounded girl

who never lets me find her, even when she’s right here

and bound by validations and adoration -

we do nothing but trip over each other’s defense mechanisms

 

Even though we still want nothing more than to surrender to someone

As much as we’ve lost – we still refuse to yield to each other

And in the resulting volatility

We don’t know what to do with ourselves when we’re not on fire

 

While everything I feel is in binary, at least she’s still trying to burn –

Still, there are fleeting, intoxicated moments when we’re almost there…

When I have to stop that looking in her eyes, for fear of falling in…

The sheer vastness of our respective love

 

Even if I’m just going to end up a fool simply holding your reflection in a mirror

In some small pathetic way, you’ll still end up in my arms

And I’ll still wish that I was enough to hold you permanently

And I’d wish you’d realize that you are so enough

 

I know the stillness of being unrequited can drive us insane –

but I would give anything just to be able to move you

To get you unstuck from saying goodnight moon

And be there when you finally say good morning to the sun


Companion Song - MUSE - The Dark Side (Alternate Reality Version)

4.29.2022

[x]The Solace in Mourning.


We measure these deaths and grieve in blocks of time
One day, one month, or one or more years since -
These are tangible, quantifiable things
that we can surpass, overcome, and build upon
 
We weaponize pain to the point of where
We sometimes forget how to heal
We’re mad or sad or frustrated or at a complete loss
Some of us are still stuck in the void we fell into when you left  
 
Yet through your loss we impossibly found hope
And discover that even though our hearts have broken
Even though you’re no longer here -
You can still bring us together just the same
 
For now, we can take comfort in having had you in our lives
With the promise that we’ll see each other again… 
Remembering that without your light having graced our lives
We would all just be left alone in the dark 


(RIP Charlie "Chuck" Cobb - who was lost to us one year ago today)