3.24.2008

[x]pillars.

Relevant - "Sundays" by Counting Crows (Saturday Night and Sunday Mornings)

...and I don't believe in anything, in anything
and I don't believe in anything, at all...


Inspiration struck me today, which is good because I have needed an outlet.

all of the words in the world
so many different ways to say
only thing i am good at
isn't good enough to make you love me

how can i get by
when every time you leave your hurt me
and every time i wake
i feel like you should be here

suffocated
i know that the farther i am dragged down
into this watery unknown
is the further i will have to make it back up

i keep trying to shut these words out
but they are like
an old friend who needs help
yet, who won't give up on me

we prop each other up on pedestals
we take turns falling
baby, i'll catch you next time i swear
just let me lean on you
for now

our facade of shadows and masks
smiles and sunshine
the trick is
learning to live on the outside
while dying within

hundreds of miles between
we grow closer by the day
even if you don't know it yet
you'll be moving home soon

coming in from the cold
i thought i had saved myself
this warmth makes me even more the numb
when i can't function without my shadow
without the cloud over my head

i wish i could give you my all
the key to my heart
i'm sorry they ruined it for you
some day you'll break down my defenses
or someday i'll come to my senses

we used to wear our hearts
on both of our sleeves
now we have our hearts in
eachother's pockets

days like this
i don't know what to believe
nights like this
i don't believe in anything

even when i am stranded
i know my siren isn't as beautiful as i will always remember her
i'm just hoping
that she remembers that i am not quite the monster
i left her as

even though i've convinced myself
that i'm the only one who can see glimpses
i just wish i could be shown
what i am here for
we are all blind in the eyes of god

3.13.2008

[x] spectre of the present.

i know we're beautiful
but we've done some ugly things
and i am sorry to disappoint
we are all
angels
monsters
 
oh lord
i've gone and jumped
the only faith i have left
seems to be your faith in me
 
your dagger in my heart
my dagger in your back
we die
we live the rest of our lives
in this embrace