I don't know what happened.
This last week has brought a surge of inspiration into my life. I am so overloaded with things to say that none of it is coming out coherently. It's just spilling over.
I'm not in love with any particular one of them, yet I'm in love with all of them. It had to be an issue with allowing myself to let them inspire me. I guess I spent a bit of time hiding under the radar, and now I have turned a corner.
My roots have started to take hold. I matter to people now down here, and they matter to me.
I'm over Jessica. I don't love her anymore, nor is that "Last person I loved" vestige hanging over my head like a cloud. That negative energy is gone from my life, permanently. For a while there I was extremely lonely. I think that was because I was spending too much time alone.
Yet I have all of these wonderful women around. Beautiful, interesting, and positive people. I have opened myself up to them, friendship and otherwise. I have them around me every day, and my eyes have been opened to appreciating it finally.
I have them, but they are not MINE.
Now I realize that you don't choose your muse(s), they choose you. That's comforting. They are all so... different, yet each of them appeals to some aspect of my personality, light and dark.
I just wish I could sleep with all of this buzzing in my head.
So, women of my life - thank you.