[x] Farewell Parade

the middle of the alphabet part 4 - Farewell Parade

you cannot help the one you love
even if you know they aren't the right person for you
still I've tried to manipulate her Rubik's cube of a heart
with every shade of red that is in me
only to realize that color is missing from her spectrum
so how can i resent her or expect her to see the difference 
between looking at fire 
and knowing what it is to burn?

so if and when she goes 

her belief in me will go with her
no longer will i see what little grace i have left
reflecting in her eyes when she looks at me
she doesn't know how much it hurts
to have someone look past you for so long
with no idea of the happiness i find in her
when she is so intent on finding it somewhere else

I love the bliss in her obliviousness

but hate that it includes me as well
so when i put it all together 
it tears me apart
torn between loving her enough to want her to leave
and fighting a war to get her to stay
yet existing only in the middle of this farewell parade
knowing every time she leaves - she is a little closer to being gone.