[x]ballgag reviews opens!.

After putting my review of the punisher up the other day, I was finally inspired to put into action an project years in the making...

BALLGAG REVIEWS.

So far I have 3 of my friends signed up as writers, and I am looking for more to contribute. This is going to be a site to review and post anything and everything. Should be fun.

Right now it's just kind of thrown together to get the ball rolling, more function over style. Hopefully I can get it cleaned up soon and add more features.

[x]punished.

I just watched the recent PUNISHER movie. I can sum up how I feel about it in one sentence...

The body count was 20.

Normally I wouldn't keep track of such a thing, but towards the end it became REALLY easy. And 20 might be a generous number.

I can buy Thomas Jane as the punisher. I really can. However besides that THIS FUCKING MOVIE WAS A PIECE OF SHIT.

Dolph Lundgren killed more than 20 people in one sitting in the 80s version of THE PUNISHER with Louis Gossett Jr. I remember him gunning down an entire room of samurai. Guns vs. swords - no it wasn't fair and IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FAIR.

For fuck's sake the in the new movie the punisher used a BOW, a fucking BOW! Hey, Wilford Brimley called, he said he left his bow over your house. He said it was the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.

You know what? Beside being one of the most hardcore character in the Marvel universe, I suppose the title was dead on. Because I feel PUNISHED for watching horrible movie. Hey, marvel execs, way to totally disregard the source material. You know what? MAN ON FIRE is my Punisher movie. They didn't water down anything, and there were no stupid secondary characters. Denzel Washington was sticking bombs up people's asses and cutting fingers off.

Don't get me started on the score, either. It felt really generic and didn't fit at all. I'm pretty sure they ripped it from another movie, too.

He GOT HIS SYMBOL ON A T-SHIRT. You know how they say an infinite amount of monkeys typing on an infinite amount of typewriters would eventually produce Shakespeare? Well I think the producers of this movie just had one monkey chucking feces at the random plot elements on the wall.

GG Marvel.

[x]momentum.

a shame we should use all of that momentum
to make crashing that much harder
but hey
you gave me back my vulnerability
by breaking my heart.

[x]A day under the blankets (in a bad way).

I love the warm air
and the green in the trees
I can breathe in spring
because the world is so beautiful
everything is full of life
Yet the sun is out
and even though i can feel the warmth on my face
I look down at my shadow
and realize I may never escape.

[x]These conversations kill.

If you are going to press play - "Big Empty" by STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
Time to take her home, her dizzy head is conscience laden
time to take a ride, it leaves today, no conversation

Last night Jessica and I broke up. It's not really anyone's business why, so I won't go into the details. This is just something to mark the occasion.

I will say one thing - It's a shame. We had been dating just under two months, and after the way everything went in the beginning... I was completely smitten with her. I think both of our lives, the background static... Just kind of evaporated into some kind of euphoria, and for a while it didn't matter.

In every relationship there is strain. Ours was no exception. Sometimes some of that background static bleeds through. It's unavoidable when you put two people together who have been seriously hurt in the past. A few weeks in it started.

The night of my sister's rehearsal dinner - we had a conversation and I could tell she was struggling with it. The kind of struggle I was having as well within, yet was not yet revealing. I closed my eyes in my truck as I sat there in the parking lot. I wasn't crying but I could feel the tears rolling down my face... As if somewhere far away beyond all the defense mechanisms and numbness it was getting through.

We agreed to see eachother in person afterwards. When I was there, face to face - I looked into her eyes and had one thought -

We are going to fall apart under our own weight.

For lack of details - this is pretty much what happened.

In one of her emails to me lately she used the phrase "Squeezing a year long relationship into two months" - and I agree. Too much, too fast. I think this is the only relationship I have ever been in that hasn't had a one-sided ending. This is just what's best, regardless of how either of us feel. Like I said it's a shame.

She offered to be friends, and I refused. Not being cold - I am just done fighting those hopeless battles. There is no going back... Doing so would do nothing but insult what we had, and just keep the rainclouds over us that much longer when we are both looking for our own ways back into the sunlight.

But, for the record - It does hurt.

[x]a relevant thought of horizontal.

If you are going to press play - "Devil's Broom" by Joseph Arthur (album - our shadows will remain)

Every time when I can't get enough to make it
Give me back every sense that I used to have
Waking up with my face down on the pavement
Everything that I own in a garbage bag

Where are you?
What did I do?
Why can't you see?
You mean everything to me...to me

Waking up in the tank, disorderly break-up
And no one here will even tell me what I did
With the guilt and the shame completely vacant
It's hard to stay alive when you don't know how to live

Where are you?
What did I do?
Why can't you see?
You mean everything to me...to me

Since you've gone ain't nobody else gonna save me
Cause I can't trade a bottle for an empty room
I just pray that the lord gonna come down and take me
Sweep me off the floor with the devil's broom

Where are you?
What did I do?
Why can't you see?
You mean everything to me...to me

[x](SIGH)lent Hill.

I had been looking forward to this movie for a few months...

Why can't we push the envelope in american horror? Where is the uncompromising vision that scares the hell out of you?

Argh. There was so much of this movie that was really amazing. The visuals were insane. I know that

What pisses me off is halfway through the movie they introduce a bunch of crappy secondary character to tie in with the lame backstory... And it takes you out of everything you spent the previous hour buying in to.

They always do this. Everytime they adapt anyting they screw it up. The stupid kid sidekick in THE CROW. Nancy (jessica alba) not gettind naked in SIN CITY *I mean FFS she is supposed to be the hottest stripper in the world and gets naked all over the place in the comic*.

I hate kid sidekicks. I hate crappy secondary characters. I hate when they use some candyass stupid backstory to tell us what we already know (or don't need to know) - can we please stop assuming the audience are idiots?

Too much compromise destroyed this movie. Almost, Christopher Gans (director - also directed BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF which I loved) - you almost had it. What could have saved this would be a re-edit. 2 hours could have been a tighter hour and a half.

Sigh - well there is always J-horror. THE RING is still my favorite horror movie. I mean HORROR. I want to be kept up at night scared, not scratching my head why they screwed up another perfectly good concept.

[x]Las Vegas photos.

Check them out here for slideshow! or click here for thumbnails!

[x]chaotic neutral.

The past is nothing more than a fuse lit behind us.

The worst part of this game is realizing I'm playing it.

[x]holding pattern.

How many people look PAST their vacations?

First I want to congratulate my sister Chelsie and my new brother-in-law Brad on a wonderful wedding. Everything went well, and I want nothing but the best for you now and in the future.

This past weekend has been a blur. In all honesty, all of March was a blur. I've changed since the blowout, since I met her. My life went from a sort of defeated calm to a complete uproar with everything going recently. The blowout, St. Patty's, my sister's wedding... Las Vegas for Paul and Rachel's wedding this week.

I leave on thursday, but for some reason I am aleady looking forward to getting home. Is that wrong? It's not that I don't want to go, I know I will have a good time and should be alot of fun to see the boys again in Sin City. I shouldn't be looking past this trip, because I feel that it will be a significant event.

The odd feeling is - I have felt like this for the past few weeks. Everything that has came and went... I guess it has all been spent with one foot in the present and one in the future. Which I suppose is better than one in the present and one in the past... the way I have spent the majority of the past 5-6 years of my life.

There is just this sense of guilt within, I can't put my finger on it quite yet. I don't know what is wrong with me.

Maybe I feel guilty because everything has been so hectic, and I just want a return to normalcy. Work should be getting back to normal in the next week or two, so that should be really nice. Or maybe I am just looking forward to having something to come back to for once, should be a really nice feeling to know that I am going to be missed.

Everything is so jumbled. I don't even know what to say. Does any of that make sense?