I just watched the recent PUNISHER movie. I can sum up how I feel about it in one sentence...

The body count was 20.

Normally I wouldn't keep track of such a thing, but towards the end it became REALLY easy. And 20 might be a generous number.

I can buy Thomas Jane as the punisher. I really can. However besides that THIS FUCKING MOVIE WAS A PIECE OF SHIT.

Dolph Lundgren killed more than 20 people in one sitting in the 80s version of THE PUNISHER with Louis Gossett Jr. I remember him gunning down an entire room of samurai. Guns vs. swords - no it wasn't fair and IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FAIR.

For fuck's sake the in the new movie the punisher used a BOW, a fucking BOW! Hey, Wilford Brimley called, he said he left his bow over your house. He said it was the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.

You know what? Beside being one of the most hardcore character in the Marvel universe, I suppose the title was dead on. Because I feel PUNISHED for watching horrible movie. Hey, marvel execs, way to totally disregard the source material. You know what? MAN ON FIRE is my Punisher movie. They didn't water down anything, and there were no stupid secondary characters. Denzel Washington was sticking bombs up people's asses and cutting fingers off.

Don't get me started on the score, either. It felt really generic and didn't fit at all. I'm pretty sure they ripped it from another movie, too.

He GOT HIS SYMBOL ON A T-SHIRT. You know how they say an infinite amount of monkeys typing on an infinite amount of typewriters would eventually produce Shakespeare? Well I think the producers of this movie just had one monkey chucking feces at the random plot elements on the wall.

GG Marvel.

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