[x]the dysfunction of intimacy

i should have up and left 
when i learned her safeword was hello
it was in my nature to love her
even if it was unwarranted
the moment i realized i did
my heart was broken in the fall
infatuation just makes you blind
to all of the red flags
when you just want it more 
than it's meant to be
so here i am 
not even mourning the loss of her
but what went missing when she left
she robbed me of my hate
when it was all i had
she took away the darkness in me
that made me strong
the only thing i am now
is exposed
listening to the sad songs
because they don't quite break the skin
they don't leave any marks
at least none that can be seen on the surface