[x]pawns and proximity.

too often am i drunk on the prospect of love
only to sober up later
and count myself lucky
to have dodged yet another bullet
and when i'm thinking clearly
i cannot comprehend a life with any of them
hindsight makes me wonder
what made them so fucking exempt
at the time in which my standards cease to apply
too many times i've been some ploy
someone else's plot device
and i'm sick of facilitating the happiness of others
being the catalyst of their rise
i look at the lands they've settled
and all of the ways they've compromised
even as i get a sense of validation
i also get a shock of despair in realization -
how long it will be before i sell out
in fear of being alone?
when i say i have so much to give
do other people see how much there is to take?
i will hold out as long as i can
or as long as it takes -
until i find a queen that moves me like a king
and not some pawn of proximity

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