It's really hard to tell someone that you don't want them to contact you anymore. Especially after you realize that you do really miss them in your life, and that deep down you still love them and wish that somehow it could work out.

Jessica called (drunk dialed) me a bit ago for the first time since October. The conversation was at the very least odd but it opened up an old wound in me. After that long of no communication between us, I was doing fine. In an out of sight, out of mind kind of way I was doing better. Then she called and everything came crashing down.

I realize now that I do miss her in my life, and I miss being with her. It's just unfortunate that things played out they way that they have. It was really hard to tell her that we shouldn't talk anymore. I do still love her and I miss what we had in the time that we were in the same place.

Due to recent situations, I now know the value of having something... tangible.

I try not to regret moving down here. My life has improved vastly in ways that she will never understand. With the original plan she should have been down here by now and we should have been starting our life together.

So, Jessica if you are reading this. I'm sorry. I really am and if there was any way that we could have made it work I would have been willing to try.

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