[x]momma said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this my momma said.
Relevant - "Walk away" by Joseph Arthur (Could we survive EP)
you want to walk away, from who you are...
What a horrible day capping off an overall crappy last two weeks. Yeah it's not all sunshine and disney world here... at least not lately.
For starters, my stupid credit card that I am paying off took TWO payments instead of one because some jackass hit the "accept payment" button twice, and it's been a fight with both them and my bank to get that back (still hasn't happened). I mean, I wish I could just steal $200 from them and hold onto it until whenever. Really... That's called STEALING. So I have spent hours on the phone talking to these idiots and getting things faxed to banks (first bank they faxed it to had their fax machine broken OF COURSE).
Now my national city bank account is overdrawn and getting charged $8 a DAY in fees because I haven't had any money to just pay it and close the damn account. Oh, this is after charging me a $34 overdraft fee for being overdrawn ONE FUCKING DOLLAR. Right now the total is up to $-60. Argh.
So glad I get paid tomorrow.
On top of that I have been wanting to change my address officially to Florida but the CAR TAGS (they don't even call it a secretary of state or dmv) place wouldn't accept my social security card because it was SLIGHTLY damaged. So that was a good hour of my time wasted there, and then another 3 hours waiting in line at the social security office. At the very least I got that in the mail today.
I would really like to file my taxes too, but the unemployment office in Michigan decided not to send me a w2 form for when I was laid off last year. I had to call them today to send me another form. God knows when that is going to get here. Also I got a letter from them a week ago saying that they overpaid me a check of $362 dollars for the week of Christmas, that I was not qualified even though the year before they pulled the same shit and I did what they told me to do this year. Which is fine... Although I NEVER GOT A CHECK FROM THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Don't even get me started on what happened in WoW today in the arena... I got to this game to be powerful and in control and today made me want to quit it all. Stupid 2v2s.
So after last week having my mom in serious heart surgery and not being there, which makes me still feel horribly guilty - and all this other crap, I will admit I am a bit strung out.
So tonight I saw Jessica on skype and decided to call her. Maybe seeing my girlfriend and talking to her would make me feel better. Nope! Not the case. She basically said the worst thing she could at the worst possible time to cap it all off and now I haven't spoken to her since. She's coming this weekend and now I am starting to stress out about being able to entertain her for 3 days and now I am worried that we aren't going to have a good time.
I talked to Logan and Ariel today, which almost made me cry because I want to see them so bad and they aren't coming to disney world with the rest of the family in mid-March. It's going to break their poor little hearts and now I won't be able to see them until May.
In addition to all that, even though I promised I wouldn't, I have been reflecting on how I left Michigan. The things I left undone and did wrong. It bothers me. Part of me thinks that all of that is finally catching up to me via karma.
You know I wake up here every day and actually look forward to the day. It's all slow progress but it's progress nonetheless. I know I'm not coming back.
I live a somewhat happy, somewhat stress-free life down here. I like my job very much, as opposed to my old one. I know I will be fine but right now it all seems a bit overwhelming.
Yet above all things I am blessed to still have my mom. I prayed for her and still do every night. I would have torn out my own heart for her. Thank you God for keeping her safe because no matter how rough I let my life get she will always support me, regardless of how many times I screw up everything.