[x]Disgust is too strong a word, Resent is too weak a word.

If you are going to press play - "A Smile That Explodes" by Joseph Arthur (Our Shadows Will Remain)

St. Patrick's Day 2005 = Disaster.

When I went out tonight I knew Beth was going to be there. I have said exactly TWO things to her in the past month. She returned my wristband when we were in the car - and the thought popped in my head "Wow - now I have no reason to talk to you anymore"... and those words almost simultaneously jumped out of my mouth.

...but that would be a mean thing to say.

So we go to dinner, then to a bar. Beth is sitting across from me and it just hit me. She is the kind of person that can sit across from me and act like nothing happened. However, I cannot sit across from HER and do the same.

The truth in the matter is I cannot take those steps back. I can be civil and nod and smile...

That was pretty much it for me, I left and ended up home just before 9pm.

Someone always has the power in relationships. I guess in some residual manner she still has it over me... Whatever she did she made her self less attractive to me over this past month... I look at her and think about things and just feel kind of "Blah". She lacks compassion, while I bleed it.

So, maybe some small part of me thought something would change, or maybe at least go back to how it was... Silly bronto, trix or for kids.

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