[x]Indifference.

If you are going to press play "Indifference" by Pearl Jam (Versus)

i will light the match this mornin', so i won't be alone
watch as she lies silent, for soon light will be gone
i will stand arms outstretched, pretend i'm free to roam
i will make my way, through, one more day in hell...
how much difference does it make
how much difference does it make...
i will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
i'll keep takin' punches until their will grows tired
i will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind
hey i won't change direction, and i won't change my mind
how much difference does it make
how much difference does it make..
how much difference...
i'll swallow poison, until i grow immune
i will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
how much difference
how much difference
how much difference does it make
how much difference does it make...

[x]sinister.

they say everyone dies alone
i guess we were together and alone
and the slow leak of familiarity came
until our song went silent
to learn the most when you are gone
and now sinister with a smile.

[x]mission accomplished.

If you are going to press play "Everything Changes" by Staind (chapter V)

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

...the rest of the song is appropriate too.

*shrug* The spell has been broken and finally I am free. Thank you.

[x]Damien, world - world, Damien.

If you are going to press play - "hotride" by THE PRODIGY (Always outnumbered, always outgunned).

I picked up my new ford FUSION today and I absolutely love it. I picked a silver instead of a red, because I wanted the leather interior. I have named it DAMIEN.

[x]Ah, fuck it - happy 666

If you are going to press play - "Long hard road out of hell" by Marilyn Manson/Sneaker Pimps - Spawn Soundtrack, Marilyn Manson - Lest We Forget (Best of)

You never said forever, could ever hurt like this

Thankfully I have a loose set of guidelines when it comes to religion... Anyway, in honor of today I have decided to get a RED ford fusion (hopefully).

[x]pulling myself together by tearing myself apart.

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost? - "Cold Water" by Damien Rice (album - "O")

This song cuts right through me in a way I have never felt in my life... I just wanted to share that.

[x]a necessary avalanche.

there's daylight in my fingers
but it's snowing in my bones
been sucking on the echo
of a thousand telephones - and when we meet again, we'll be strangers - "only the lonely" by David Gray

every bit of intimacy
letting your guard down
tearing down the walls
taking off your armor
exposing your shore to a storm
waves that can be buried
but never will rescind

[x]humid.

ashes scattered
within the pyre of the season
you can never be a phoenix
unless a part of you perishes
slash and burn in retreat or advancement
the only way to become
more than i am

[x]the tragedy of never meeting your muse.

If you are going to press play - "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice (album - "O")

and my sighs are italics
when i breathe i can feel it
because all of this silence and solitary is a story
stuck in this moment
shutting my eyes and looking at you
always you as it has always been and always will be
so elusive
i have reached out as far as my heart can feel
faith being the sole difference
between a prologue and an epilogue.

[x]don't look at me like, i am a monster.

and when they leave
the take the colors with them
to leave me alone in grey
once again lost
in familiar territory

in a sigh there is nothing
where once i could close my eyes
and play the trust game
no one to catch me again
we are a mirror shattered
reflective in our broken hearts


if you are going to press play - "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley

I am at a loss. I'm lost.