[x] The Dirge and Dorian Gray

there is no depth to my love
and it scares me to death
becuase in it's absence that very same endlessness
just becomes a void
when left to my own devices
that abyss has to be filled with something
so i tried my hand at villainy
only to have it consume me from the inside out
sometimes i am not even sure
that i am the hero of my own story anymore
small conquests to get me through the day
today i just want to be evil spelled backwards
in the romantic myth of myself
i have suffered sirens, slain dragons
and distressed many a damsel
yet the measure of me is how tall their tales have become
their only power over me i know now was simply my own weakness
the truth of it is i let the drown me in that abyss
and was too broken to do nothing more than drift away
into the nothingness that was left
thought i love nothing more than to be smitten
i'm not exactly sure it's possible anymore
and that makes me very sad
like lamenting something i'll never have again
let's just hope, for the sake of this story
that someone proves me wrong
because if i ever stop believing
then i have no power indeed
in this long absence of fire
there is only darkness to light the way
and i fear forever being lost
when i was never meant to be left alone
what i'm trying to say is that i worry about my soul
i've never been a humble singer of songs - 
but when it comes time for my very own dirge and wake
if someone could ever paint me like dorian gray
i wonder what my portrait would look like

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