[x]rubber band.

maybe i stretched it too far or too long
because the past snaps back like a rubber band into the present
and when the shock wears off
the life that i am living starts to feel vaugely like my own
i've lost track of the times
that i had given up hope
walking around every single day with my shadow 
following me like a perpetual chalkline
it's hard to reconcile now
the sequence of events
all i remember is fighting my way out of the rain
for a single victory among a sea of losses
i know now that one less drop of blood
or maybe one less tear in the process
and maybe none of this would have ever come to pass...
but that doesn't make it hurt any less
this has to be some kind of cruel joke
becuase it's distressingly hilarious
that when life decides to come and get me
i seem to have forgotten how to be found
sadly - because things are going so good
that i cannot help but look over my shoulder
in a conditioned anticipation - 
of letting it all be taken away
maybe my eyes are still closed
out of fear of them not being able to adjust if i open them
i'm stuck in a place with people screaming
telling me the lights are finally on
i hope someday that i can learn to accept happiness
for the life that i sometimes feel is not mine
because everything that just snapped back
feels like something that was stolen from me

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