7.11.2011

[x]Seasonal Unaffective Disorder.

in quiet moments i can close my eyes
and be standing in the snow
i can open them and see my breath before me
and feel the cold on my face
in the visions there is no sound
until the 85 and partly cloudy snaps me out of it
this seems to be the opposite
of season affective disorder
because the unexceptional weather leaves me unaffected
every day is almost exactly the same
at the very least in the sunshine
i can't feel myself dying anymore like i used to
i just can't feel myself living either
yet every once in a while
we get those rare grey days
every time it's overcast it's like god's trying to relate
and i like to think that maybe i did this
and i'll stand in the rain like an idiot
when there's nothing but sunshine
it's easy to get homesick in the contrast

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