9.15.2006

[x]too much static.

Relevant - "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own


For the first time in my life, I am scared to write... I have so much I have been building up over the past few months...

Most of the time I feel strong when I write... sometimes it's the only power I have over my demons... The only voice I have in the world.

Lately I feel like I could just scream, let it all out in one barrage of love, hate, anger, frustration, so many other emotions and states of mind - I feel like I AM screaming... and that I could make the world hear me if anything but static was coming out of my head.

I'm just afraid. I'm struggling emotionally, which I don't understand at all. It's like there is this barrier blocking my way to the rest of my life, yet I'm afraid of what's on the other side. I don't know what's holding me back...

The fear of letting go maybe? All of this keeps me grounded, but I want to shed all of this gravity/history and just let it all out.

I really want to.

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