[x]Finally walking out of the graveyard.If you are going to press play - "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance
It's just not worth carrying around this much hate. It's alot of baggage that has been corrupting me like a cancer from the inside out...
Since last November I have re-established various countacts... I have talked to Jenn, Lori, Madonna, and Beth... The air was cleared on every occassion. Am I crazy to have done this? Maybe... Just been so long without any sort of closure it was destroying me. There were things that needed to be said and were.
When you seperate from someone, you leave a piece of your heart with them. They take it and leave... and for some reason you long to have it back. I guess I have found peace in that now. I don't mind it so much... They can have them, because in the space they took was replaced a piece of them.
It's these pieces that make us who we are.
For the first time in 6 years I am realizing that's not such a bad thing. Sometimes you CAN let the dead rest in peace, and let the ghosts finally move on.
What have a gotten in return? Peace. I have been doing dinner with Jenn on mondays for the last month or so (which I enjoy). Lori and I haven't seen much of eachother but things were cleared up. Madonna and I have had some long conversations about movies and alot of things I didn't even know we had in common. I just started talking to Beth tonight, it went well... and I am hoping we can have a good time at Chelsie's upcoming wedding and on other occassion.
At this point, it is about what IS as opposed to what WAS. What IS - is a welcome change of emotional scenery...