Over... over... out.

That's it. Any possibility of a relationship with Kelly other than friend just died.

We had a long conversation about some things that I am not going to get into here... I just want to write something down because I am not sure how I am going to feel when I wake up in the morning.

The whole time I just wanted to tell her that I loved her. That she made me feel special - like everything was going to be okay for once in my life. I didn't want to dig myself deeper into this hole in my heart so I didn't. I wanted to go into every minute detail of how she makes me feel... but I didn't. The way she felt in my arms, the way it felt to kiss her, or touch her.

Realizing that it wouldn't do me a damn bit of good to plead my case with her, I gave up. Even though she is worth fighting for... the fight left me in a sigh.

I have been in love with her since New Year's. Get this - because she DIDN'T kiss me when the ball dropped at midnight.

In love because that isn't something that I can control. Especially when I fall in love way to easy.

That detail, among the other many small things that happened between her and I. The things which only the two of us shared and will ever know. Which made the past 7 months of my life give me something to look forward to.

Something that's over now.

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